Behind the Name
by Oky Verlo
Summary: 'They named him Loveless, though he is anything but.' Ritsuka's thoughts after a battle, followed by Soubi's. Slightly older Ritsuka, and may be OOC with the angst, but I tried my best. Read and review?
1. Sacrifice

_**I am pretty sure that no one else has done this, and if they have, I haven't come across it! **__**The fact that this is on fanfiction should be enough indication that I don't make money off this.**_

_Another day, another battle fought. _

_Once again, Soubi was hurt, from protecting me, and from having our opponent's spells thrown at him._

_And from serving a master who didn't share his name._

_Me. Loveless. One who is loved by none. Soubi. Beloved. One who is loved by all._

_Every time someone comes after me; be it because of my brother, or my connection to Soubi, it is Soubi, not I, who bleeds. Fearless, Breathless, Bloodless, Moonless, Faceless, and the Zeros. In every battle, it has been Soubi who is grievously injured; the fighter instead of the sacrifice._

_After a particularly harrowing encounter with Beloved- __**My brother**__- I watch as Soubi sleeps restlessly. I decided to spend the night at his apartment with him; he was in no state to be left alone, and he was terrified to have me out of his sight._

_My fingers ghost over his temple as I smooth back a few locks of his hair, shining gold in the light of the moon. Soubi deserves to be called Beloved; he is kind, strong and handsome._

_Yet he himself has attached himself to Loveless. To me._

_I turn my gaze to the window, looking out onto the darkened streets. A maze of blackened road that could hide any number of potential attackers. But not tonight. As I raise my hand to rest on the cooled glass, I know that no pair will be coming for us tonight._

_Seimei's attack has guaranteed it for tonight if nothing else; no one __**wants**__ to challenge Beloved after all._

_Soubi stirs and I return my gaze to his form. I can feel myself wince upon the sight of his bandages; they wind around his neck and chest, and capture both his hands. I feel my nails bite into my palm when I realise that his hands will take at least a week to fully heal._

_Soubi is an artist; he should never have been introduced to this world of fighting and pain!_

_I force my hand to unclench from it's self-induced coil when I feel the tell-tale liquid upon my skin. I have sliced my palm in my anger._

_Moving as silently as I am able, I leave Soubi's room and enter the living room, making my way to the couch where I had left the first aid kit. Opening it's lid, I know that tomorrow, Soubi will be upset that I had injured myself further, but even as I loop the cloth around my damaged hand, I feel nothing. Years of abuse from my mother in her attempt to find 'her Ritsuka' has left me feeling no pain from such small abrasions. After I have tied off the bandage, I rise and find myself staring at none other then 'my' fighter, the man who has dedicated himself to me and my name; Soubi._

"When I woke up ..." _Soubi's words trailed off, but his eyes didn't leave my own. He started again._ "I was worried that you had left."

_I wince as I hear the slight accusation in his voice, and I step forward until I am directly in front of him._

"I may be Loveless, Soubi, but I'm not heartless. I'm not going to leave you."

_Soubi releases a sigh as I say those words, and I suddenly find myself in his arms, Soubi hugging me for all his worth. I can't make them out, but I can hear him mumbling words into the space where my shoulder meets my neck._

_Letting out a small sigh of my own, I wrap my arms around the man's torso, gently rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down._

_Though he'll never say so, after a fight, Soubi always has nightmares._

_As I lead Soubi back to his room, I think on the other sacrifices. They are all different; from me and from each other, but all of them have one same difference to me._

_They will all 'discipline' their fighters for misconduct._

_I hate violence. I abhor it. I hate how someone can think that it will solve anything. So I never use it. Not on Soubi, not against my mother, and not against those who attack me._

_As Soubi lies back down on his bed, and I retake my seat, I think for a final time tonight on the nature of my name._

_Loveless._

_I have no love for the world I've been thrown into._

_**Done! Written in roughly half an hour, and I'm pretty sure I didn't stuff anything up!**_

_**My theory is that the names between a pair reflects how that pair thinks of battle; Breathless will battle as hard and as fast as they can, leaving you no time to breathe. Bloodless attacks your psyche, your mental state, until you can no longer stand, winning without shedding blood. Beloved revels in the fight, to them, a fight is a beloved thing. And Ritsuka - Loveless- holds no love for fighting or violence, upon the field of war, he is loveless of the conflict.**_

_**I don't care if I'm ranting; it totally works in my mind!**_

_**Toodles and Love,**_

_**Oky Verlo**_


	2. Fighter

_**And the second chapter. Hope you enjoy.**_

_Another day, another battle fought._

_Ritsuka was mad at me again, for protecting him from damage._

_But how was I to do otherwise? Ritsuka is beyond my master and sacrifice. The young man is my friend, my confidant. My beloved._

_I loathe the name engraved upon my chest; the collar that shackles me to a man I fear. Had I been aware that one day I was to meet Ritsuka, that one day I would be in the service of one so kind and innocent, I would never have allowed such a permanent contract be made._

_I would much prefer to be a part of Loveless, than to be Beloved._

_As I lie on my bed, waking from a dreamless rest, my eyes search for my most precious person. I feel my heart race as I fail to locate his form within the dark confines of my room. Had that monster Seimei taken him away? Had that bastard Nisei snatched him up?_

_Ignoring the sharp stabs of pain running through my neck and chest, I manage to stand, albeit unsteadily. I tell myself to calm down, forcing slow, deep breaths into my lungs. Should either of those two entered, I would definitely have woken to the threat. I would have woken to protect my Ritsuka._

_I slowly exit my room and slowly tread through the darkness to arrive at the living room, where I stop. Light spills into the room through the wide windows and illuminates the object of my affection. The silver light dances through his hair, making the locks mirror the stars shining in the night sky just outside._

_The fates are truly foolish and uncaring. They named him Loveless, though he is anything but. Ritsuka is a warm, kind, beautiful young man, capable of unending compassion. Had the fates been paying attention, it would have been my Ritsuka, not Seimei, who was blessed with the name Beloved._

_I see him tying off a bandage looped around his hand, and feel myself bite my lower lip._

_He hurt himself. There should never be a reason for Ritsuka to bleed; by his hand or any others. Though my gaze never leaves his for, I can feel the grimace on my face as I think about Ritsuka's mother._

_He keeps forgiving her, keeps living in danger just so she won't be lonely; keeps letting her hit him when she decides that 'he is __**not**__ Ritsuka'. And he still refuses to let me help him._

_I remove all thought of that woman from my mind, and focus completely on my 'sacrifice', the one who I will fight for, kill for, __**die**__ for. _

_Not a second later, Ritsuka's gaze raises and meets my own, surprise flashing briefly across his features before it returns to the concern he cannot help but display when I am injured. _

_Unthinkingly, I speak. _"When I woke up ..." _I can't bring myself to say that I panicked. I am supposed to be Ritsuka's invincible protector, the one who Ritsuka can always turn to. But I know he has heard me already, and I will not lie to him, though it is by my own doing, no longer upon Ritsuka's command. _"I was worried that you had left."

_Ritsuka flinches and I regret saying even that. Because of my words, I have all but accused him of being uncaring -__**like his brother**__. _

_Ritsuka comes to stand before me and matches my gaze with his own, before speaking in a tone dripping with emotion and feeling. _"I may be Loveless, Soubi, but I'm not heartless. I'm not going to leave you."

_A sigh escapes my lips, and an undeniably need to embrace the teen enters my heart, which I indulge upon without question. I end up whispering into Ritsuka's skin any form of love and devotion I can think of, regardless of language, or even if he can even hear me. As his hands begin a slow dance across my back, I feel my pulse slow, resuming a calmer pattern to distribute blood to my system._

_Blood._

_As the dark-haired angel leads me to my room, I gingerly touch the bandaging enclosing my neck. It is one of the reasons Ritsuka gets upset. By definition, I am serving a false master. A wry smile crosses my lips. I never really have been one to play by the rules._

_As Ritsuka takes a seat by my bed, prepared to spend the night in a silent vigil of my condition, I fear over when his 'true' fighter will appear, but immediately squash the thought. Ritsuka has said that I am __**his**__ one and only fighter, so until Ritsuka says otherwise, this is the way it shall remain._

_As I once again surrender to the forces of sleep, I think once more upon my beloved._

_They named him Loveless, though he is anything but._

_**And that is the end of Soubi's point of view. The only reason this is here is because I like even numbers. Review and tell me what you think?**_

_**Toodles and Love,**_

_**Oky Verlo**_


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